Five Weeks

It’s kinda crazy that Oren has been Earthside for five weeks already. There were times when I was pregnant that I wondered how I would manage. With four older kiddos, no partner, homeschooling and being self-employed – and not in a position to take any maternity leave, I seriously doubted that I would manage.

Five weeks in, and manage I have. Things have settled down into a new normal, we’ve found our rhythm as a family of six, the bigger kiddos have been fantastic at helping out. I won’t lie. There have been moments I’ve struggled. Mornings when I have been tired after broken nights. Times when everyone needs me at once. When the baby needs feeding, Beastie needs his bum wiping, the big kids have something they want to tell me.. when people need taking to groups, and dinner needs cooking, there is laundry to do and dishes piling up in the sink.

Moments when the hormones have taken over, the tears have come and I think I can’t do it.

Yet for the most part, life has been good. I am so blessed with such a beautiful family, that even when the going is tough it is worth it. In the middle of the night, when it is quiet, Oren is nursing and Beastie asleep beside me, I feel content. As I sit there with him in my arms, the only sound of his suckling, I wouldn’t swap this for the world.

There has been no quiet time here, no weeks holed up in the house with a newborn baby. Life meant that I had to be up and on pretty much as soon as he was born. With no one else around to help out with the numerous groups that the kiddos do, I was out and about from the day after he was born. When I look back at the last five weeks, it’s amazing how much we have done with a newborn in tow.

In truth, being busy is good for me. While I love time at home, and need quiet time for my soul – right now, being busy and getting out and seeing people helps to keep me feeling sane. those days when I am tired, and the postpartum hormones are making me feel weepy – it is far better that I am busy and out and about, rather than sat home alone, feeling sad alone.

So here we are, five weeks in. It’s a ‘work day’ as I write this. The middle three are out with their Dad. Oren is asleep on my lap {I couldn’t bring myself to put him in his bed for a nap ha!}, I’m trying to get as much writing and photo editing and correspondence done as I can. It’s not easy, it’s slow going stopping to nurse, and to change nappies and to just love the baby. But it is good – how lucky am I that I get to call this my life?!

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