Happy Birthday to me! Today is my thirty-seventh birthday! How did that happen?! Closer to forty than I am to thirty, I guess I am one of those ‘proper‘ grown-ups haha!
I was reading through the post I wrote this time last year when I turned thirty-six a few days ago, and it made me realise just how much has changed in this year. How much I have changed in the last year. When you are in the midst of a huge life change, it is hard to see the other side, hard to see past the hurt and the tears. I couldn’t imagine feeling as free and as happy as I do now.
After fourteen years in a fairly controlling marriage, it seemed I ended up letting a friend do the same. I was lost, hopeless and afraid, and it was all too easy to cling to someone who I thought was on my side. Those first six months of being single were lost in a haze, of trying to keep my balls in the air, while not really having a clue of where I was going. I guess I clung to the familiar, staying where it felt safe, letting someone else ‘advise’ me what was best for me.
Thankfully, I opened my eyes, found my courage, and started to speak my truths. I stood up for myself, I put myself first, I decided to create a life that I loved. No more doing what others told me was the right thing, no more people pleasing, no more trying to ‘fit in’. What did I gain? Freedom, happiness, so much joy, the chance to show my kiddos that no one but ourselves knows what is right for us.
The past twelve months have gone from good to amazing. Life is a million times better than it ever has been, yes there are hard days, but the good days outweigh the bad days one hundred to one. I’ve learned so much about myself, and so much about other people. I no longer worry about what other people think, I know that I am doing what is best for me, and if that means losing what I thought were life-long friendships, I’ve realised they probably weren’t the good friends that I thought they were.
this is the beginning of anything you want.
I am a whole new person to who I was before. I have a confidence that I never had, I’m doing the things that I was always too afraid to do, I’m to busy creating a life that I love to worry about what other people think of me, I feel comfortable in my skin and for the first time ever, am SO excited about what the future will bring.
No longer do I say YES when I mean NO, or NO when I mean YES, no longer do I spend time with people who aren’t one hundred percent supportive of how I choose to live my life, no longer ignoring my dreams because pursuing them means stepping outside of my comfort zone.
This year has been the biggest learning curve, and while at times it was hard, frustrating, confusing, sad, still I wouldn’t change it for the world, for it has made me a stronger, happier person…
* DO YOU ~ don’t feel you have to be something you are not, or not be something you are, just to please someone else. Family member, lover, friend… if they love you truly, they’ll love you for being YOU, even if they don’t agree with every choice you make.
* SPEAK UP ~ don’t be afraid to say what you think. Always speak your truths and don’t edit yourself to please other people.
* FOLLOW YOUR HEART ~ do what makes you happy, follow your dreams, don’t try to fit in
* LOVE YOURSELF ~ we are perfect just the way we are, so learn to love who you are, faults and all.
* TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF ~ find the things that make you feel amazing and do them, eat healthy, workout, take days off, regular pamper nights, mediate, it’s important to look after your body and your mind.
* STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE ~ no matter how terrifying it may be, and how safe that comfort zone may feel, nothing good ever came from staying where it’s safe.
* DON’T RELY ON OTHERS ~ while support is essential, relying on others too much can mean that you’re not doing what is best for you. Ask for advice, ask for help, but don’t let others define who you are.