Christmas, birthdays and the inbetween

I love this week between Christmas and New Year. When the days all blur into one, real life is suspended, we get up late and go to bed late and seem to do nothing other than eat and watch movies.

Christmas was good. The run up was hectic… but then the kiddos were all home, the fairy lights were twinkling, the tree was almost hidden under gifts and everything stopped.

Oren was so excited this year, he was big enough to get the build up of excitement, even though we don’t really ‘do’ Santa Claus. Christmas is still magical.

Funnily enough, he was the last one awake on Christmas Day morning. I woke up a little after six to the girls messaging on our family WhatsApp, eventually, Oren stirred over an hour later and asked if it was Christmas.

It took us a good four hours to open gifts, with breaks to make and eat some breakfast. The kiddos always take it in turns to open gifts, so it takes a while. I was a little spoilt by them too, they are the bestest.

I cooked the biggest Christmas Dinner ever, with plenty of left overs and my Mama made some delicious sauces to go with it, and Brandy Sauce for our Christmas Pudding.

Beastie celebrated his eighth birthday three days after Christmas – which meant more gifts, more cake and more food! We always do his main gift on his half-birthday, but get a few small gifts to mark the day. He has a friend sleeping over for a birthday sleepover and gaming session, then we’re planning a get-together with friends in a couple of weeks – it’s a tricky time for a birthday!

I’ve been using the downtime to quieten my mind, to turn inwards and try to sort out my thoughts and feelings. THings seem to have been all over the place, 2022 wasn’t the year I planned {although it hasn’t been awful}.

I’m aware I’m struggling with my mental health this last year. The loneliness as a single parent sometimes gets the better of me still. I feel like I’m not living up to what I want out of life, not quite being the person I want to be, not fulfilling all my hopes and dreams.

Still clinging to the vestiges of trauma that keeps me small and quiet.

Trying to find a way to unshackle myself and really grow into myself this coming year.