“It’s not a failure if you learn from it.”
I shared this quote on my Instagram really, having come across it whilst studying for my coaching course. It really resonated with me, and apparently resonated with a lot of other people too.
It got me thinking about how I have defined the things that I have been through in my life. How we all define our experiences., and how we are taught to think about things. From being children the word ‘fail’ is a part of our vocabualry. Tests in school, or ballet exams, piano exams… whatever it is we’re doing – if we don’t pass we’re told we have failed. Failed our spelling test. Failed our exams. Failed our driving test. Failed at a job interview. Failed at a relationship.
It paints life in black or white – either we suceed or we are failures. There is no middle ground.
But what if they choose not to see these as failures? What if instead we choose to look at hte lessons they have taught us.
Yes, maybe it toook you five goes to pass your driving test – but maybe that made you a much bettter, safer driver.
Maybe you dropped out of college – maybe that was becuase you ahd realised it wasn’t right for you, nad instead of donig what you ‘should’ you did what was best for you.
Maybe you are divorced – instead of seeing a failed relationship, choose to see you not settling.
For years, my lack of self-worth has been tied up with my feelings of being a failure. They’ve danced around each other, tied together in some warped relationship. Failing things because I didn’t believe in myself, not nelieving in myself because of my failures.
That stops here.
I’m taking accountablility for myself at last. Changing the language that I use to talk about my life experiences, altering the way in which I think about these siutations and taking back my power. We fear failure, we see it as a negative thing because we fear being wrong. Yet it can be such a postiive force in our lives. failure has the power to transform our lives, to get us where we want to go, where we need to be.
many times, we look at failure and think that it defines who we are. WE are a failure. WE are not good enough. WE are not smart enough.
If you’ve never failed, then you have never taken risks, you have never chased your dreams – ebcause failure is how we grow. Failure shows you where you been going wrong and allows you to make those changes to succeed.
I walked away from my marriage because I valued myself too much to stay with someone who was unfaithful and had lied to me. It taught me to respect myself and showed me how strong I was.
I dropped out of college because I was trying to do what I thought I ‘should’ instead of what was right for me. It taught me to follow my own path.
I untangled myself from the relationship with my youngest sons dad, because I refused to stay in an physically and emotionally abusive relationship. It taught me to believe in myself, to be strong and to be OK being alone.
How do you view your failures in life?