Feeling the load

Lately, I’ve been feeling the load – the overwhelm of all that parenting brings, especially as a single parent. Getting kids ready for Uni/College/Groups, figuring out who needs to be where and when, who needs dinner at what time.

Juggling work and children. Home ed. Kids at college. Bills. Money {or lack of}. Meals. Housework. Never ending laundry. Animals. One-on-one time with the kids. Time for me. Friendships. Family.

With no one else at home to share the load, some days it is just too much.

There is only one of me trying to be so many things – mother, daughter, worker, cook, cleaner, friend to name but a few. Even though when I was married, 90% of this fell to me anyway, at least then there was someone to offload to when it all got too much. There was always the hope of a lie-in or a meal cooked for me, even if it never actually happened.

It is never-ending. We get to the bottom of the laundry basket or our to-do list, and the next morning they have filled back up.

The decision-making and worries are the biggest stressors for me. When everything rests on me, no one to sound off to, no one to help make the decisions, no one to share the weight of the worries.

Life is good, and I am so grateful for all we have. For the life I lead. For the freedom to work for myself and home educate. It doesn’t mean they are easy choices though. I could put the kids in school and get a job working for someone else – remove a few stresses and worries – but at what cost?

Not everyone gets it. Full-time single-parenting is hard. No weeks without kids {which I would hate} to catch up on life. Sometimes we just need to let it all of our chest and then we can crack back on with our relentless to-do lists, and yearn for more sleep!

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