List 12 : Dreams

source to live in a quaint cottage by the sea to have a circle of close girlfriends to learn to play the  guitar to visit Morroco to create more to practice yoga every day to reach out to friends write more be open to new opportunites fall in love with myself throw more parties stay grounded

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Those darn Gremlins

My gremlins have  been very vocal for the last few days. They’re this nagging voice inside my head. Always there, sometimes louder than others. Here’s a few of the things they’re telling me right now: Depression is always going to have a hold on you You’re just not good enough The people you’re connecting with just don’t really care Everyone else is better than you You never finish anything No one will want to buy your art anyway, so why are you painting? Nothing is ever going to change You’ll never have the life you dream of so why even try I’ve been working hard on ignoring them. Acknowledging them, writing them down and then kindly telling them to fuck off now please. In the past I’ve always taken what my gremlins have told me as gospel. Taken every word to heart and let them call the shots. But no longer. Most of the time I feel like an impostor… that I’m not really an artist, not really a good mother, not really a good person …… I feel like everyone else is far more confident and competent than I, and that any minute I’m going to be found out…

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Wishcasting Wednesday

I’ve decided to join in with Jamie Ridler and her ‘Wishcasting Wednesdays’ This week she asked: Where do you wish to grow your confidence?  I wish to grow confidence in my soul….. to love myself, and to belief in myself. I wish to follow my heart wherever it may lead. I wish to go confidently along my path and the courage to take risks along the way.

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Words of Wisdom

I know why the caged bird sings by Maya Angelou A free bird leaps on the backOf the wind and floats downstream Till the current ends and dips his wing In the orange suns raysAnd dares to claim the sky. But a BIRD that stalks down his narrow cageCan seldom see through his bars of rageHis wings are clipped and his feet are tiedSo he opens his throat to sing. The caged bird sings with a fearful trillOf things unknown but longed for stillAnd his tune is heard on the distant hill forThe caged bird sings of freedom. The free bird thinks of another breezeAnd the trade winds soft throughThe sighing treesAnd the fat worms waiting on a dawn-brightLawn and he names the sky his own. But a caged BIRD stands on the grave of dreamsHis shadow shouts on a nightmare screamHis wings are clipped and his feet are tiedSo he opens his throat to sing. The caged bird sings withA fearful trill of things unknownBut longed for still and hisTune is heard on the distant hillFor the caged bird sings of freedom.

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