I found myself the other day being annoyed at myself. For being ‘behind’. For comfort eating. For lacking mojo. For feeling a little low. For a long list of other things too.
Then I took a moment. Breathed deep. And let it all go.
How many times do we beat ourselves up for failing? For not pushing through whatever obstacle life has thrown at us and still managing to be ‘perfect’ all of the time?
Life is not a race. It is OK to sometimes slow down. To sometimes stop. To give ourselves grace. To allow us our feelings and honour where we are at this moment.
I am only human. I lost my Dad two weeks ago. The grief is strong – not just for losing him, but for losing the chance of ever having a different relationship with him.
The grief also brought up so much old stuff for me, things that are long in the past but perhaps still lurk in my mind. It reminded me just how precious life is, how little time we have, and I had a moment of feeling awful for how much time I have ‘wasted’.
In not giving myself space to feel my feelings, I was actually making myself feel worse. Trying to push myself to keep going at 100 miles an hour was doing me no favours. Being angry at myself for living on comfort food these last few weeks is just pointless.
So, this is me. Showing up as I am. Letting my feelings be felt. Not pushing myself to move through them before I am ready. Giving myself grace. Applauding myself for still being here, going strong, fighting back and working through all that life throws my way.
Allowing myself to pause. To breath. To just be.
Finding grace in the everyday.