Dating and relationship goals for 2020

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Twenty Twenty! A whole new year {and a whole new decade}. With it comes some new intentions, some goals, and ideals for me, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. The last few years have been marked by divorce, dating, an abusive relationship… so I went into this New Year with the plan of setting out some new goals for myself, to stepping back into the dating game and working on having a  healthy and happy relationship.

I’ve been thinking about what is important. Things like expressing my needs to working through healthy conflict, and acknowledging that creating and maintaining a relationship with someone can take a lot of work. Movies often make dating seem so easy, but in reality, connecting with someone you care about is hard –  putting yourself out there and keeping an open mind. For those silver dating, this could be the year you meet your one!

I’ve used the start of a New Year to look back at past relationships, what worked, what didn’t and set some goals for 2020.

1. BE HAPPY BEING SINGLE – a big one for me, I’ve always felt like I ‘need’  to be in a relationship, that I need another half to complete me. The key to healthy and happy dating is to be content being by yourself – to know that you don’t need another person to make me whole or happy.
2. HEAL FROM PAST RELATIONSHIPS – give myself time to heal the hurts, rather than rushing into another {wrong} relationship.
3. BE BRAVE – don’t be afraid to put myself out there, to step out of my comfort zone. After past experiences, it would be easy to hide away and not date but I refuse to let a couple of bad relationships ruin my future completely. Maybe looking at a senior dating sight.
4. KNOW WHAT I WANT – I’ve been thinking hard about what it is I want/need out of a relationship, and it is also important that I stick with it. It is OK to walk away from something that isn’t giving me what I need {or giving me something I don’t need}
5. ACTUALLY DATE – yes, date. Go out for coffee or dinner, knowing that it could be a one-time thing. Have fun, go into it with an open mind and just enjoy.
6. STAND UP FOR MY NEEDS – I am usually not very good at asking for what I need, but I’ve learned that I need to be an advocate for my own needs in a relationship. It’s allowed to prioritise my needs, they don’t have to come second to a partners.
7. LET GO OF CONTROL – remember I can’t force it. stop bending over backward for others, stop doing anything for a little affection, don’t try too hard and just let it flow naturally.
8. BE VULNERABLE – a relationship will never work if we keep ourselves closed off. Yes, it is scary to put our heart on the line, but it is the only way to truly find love

What dating and relationship goals have you set yourself for 2020?