I spent much of my teens and early adult life believing I couldn’t do hard things. My confidence was non-existant and my self-worth at zero. I actively avoided hard things.
It was easier to not try, or to give up, than to try and fail.
I dropped out of college more than once. I gave up on driving lessons. I left a job when they promoted me.
I didn’t believe that I was capable.
I lived a quiet life. Hiding behind my role as a Mama. Hiding behind being a wife.
In the small hours, I was desperately yearning for more. For a louder life. For a larger life. For a life that was brave and boundless.
I didn’t know how to begin. How to stop being so afraid and start living.
Then one day, my world crumbled beneath me and I had no choice but to begin.
At first I floundered. I cried. I yearned for the old life. I wanted safety and what I knew.
Yet deep inside something stirred. When I stepped out on my own, away from the shackles I had placed around my own ankles I began to SOAR.
I had to do things that were hard. THere was no way around it. It was scary. It was unnefving. Yet I did it.
With each hard thing I did, I began to believe in myself just a little bitmore.
I began to see the strong woman I was, the strong woman who I had hidden for years, kept buried beneath my fear.
Time and time again I choose me over comfort. I refused to abandon myself to lovers or friends who needed me to fit their mold.
The old me would run away from the things that scare me. Now I run towards those things. Driving lessons. Dating. Studying. Speaking my truth. Being unapologetically me.
We can do hard things, we can do the things that scare us, we can be who we want to be. We just have to believe.