This season

This season right now is busy. A baby, a four-year-old, a tween, two teenagers. A single Mama, working from home. Home educating. There is not much breathing space, not much ‘me time’.

The days are long, but oh boy do the weeks go fast. Too fast. These kiddos are growing before my very eyes.

While I might be in the midst of it, every now and then I step back and take stock. On the long days when I am stressed, longing for a hot bath, or an hour to myself, I pause and look around.

It’s true right now that I am bottom of the list. But it is just for now.

Babies don’t keep. I know that from experience. My eldest is 16. Those years have vanished in the blink of an eye.

So when my three month old wants to be held all day. Or the four year old wants to curl up in bed, legs wrapped around mine. Or the tweenager asks for a movie night, or the teens want to chat once the little ones are in bed. I say yes.

YES.

Because while I might crave quiet and space for me, these days are not forever. They will be gone and I will have all the time in the world to please myself.

This season will not last forever. The baby will grow and not want to be held all day long. The four year old will find his way to his own bed. THe bigger kids will be off doing their own things, moving out, building their own lives.

So right now all that is important is being fully here. Being in the moment and not worrying about the future. Hugging the baby. Spending time with the kiddos. Saying yes to their requests.

In the rare five minutes I get to myself, I pour a cup of tea and take a deep breath. Those five minutes are enough me time for now.