Some thoughts on our now

currently

It’s almost 4pm here, sat on the sofa waiting for Lola to get home from school, and waiting to take Baya to her gym class in twenty minutes time. Beastie is busy playing Duplo by my feet, and I can hear Kiki and Baya giggling in the playroom. I thought I’d take a quick five minutes to check in her, say hi and catch up. These past few months have been erratic, there have been whole weeks when I just haven’t had the words to even say hi in this space. For this is my happy space, a place to document my family, record our adventures and talk about the things that matter to us. Marriage break-up and divorce was never something I thought I’d have to bring here, I guess it’s not something any of us want in our life, but these things happen – even when they’re not what we want, sometimes they are the only option and bring about a whole new, better way of life.

So here we are, four months on from the day my {our} world turned upside down. What can I say? It’s been tough, emotional, hard-going. For me more than the kids. They’ve adjusted pretty well, in reality, our day-to-day hasn’t changed… it was and always has been me who was the glue who held everything together. Me who ran the house, who looked after the kids, who did the homeschooling, me who did it all. So that hasn’t been a huge adjustment. But still, our world has been off-kilter for a while, and I’m finally feeling like maybe things are getting back on track.

A new normal, but normal none the less. Lola has settled in at school, she seems to be enjoying it {other than the early starts} and is getting good grades and has made some friends. We’ve gotten int a new daily routine, starting a little earlier as I’m up and on to see her off, filling our days with art, crafts, books and some projects. Beastie has transitioned to no naps, which while it makes the days a little more full on, means bedtime isn’t the two-hour long event that I hated every single day. I usually fit in some work two or three afternoons a week and find some writing time for my new site pollyjemima.com in the evenings when the house is quiet and my own thoughts have a chance to be heard.

Home is far less stressful these days, the atmosphere calmer and less negative, the kids happier and Lola spends more time with the rest of us instead of hidden away in her room. This is something huge I’ve noticed only since their Dad moved out, it’s crazy how much of a negative affect one person can have on the whole family isn’t it?

So this is our now. The five of us, figuring out what it is we want, making new routines, planning new adventures, making new memories. Little things – like mine and Lola’s Friday night ‘Pretty Little Liars’ date night, books before bedtime all piled on my bed, planning out making an art studio for us all in the den in the next few weeks. It’s funny how things unfold sometimes, the thing we think is the last thing that would ever happen, the last thing we’d ever want to happen, but when it does, it turns out to be SO good for all of us.

I was sat this morning, out back with my first coffee, listening to the birds singing and watching the sun shine down, and it struck me how right now I’m still so lucky. I have four fabulous kiddos, a house I love, I spend my days full of hugs and laughter and fun and glitter, get to be home all day with my babies and soak up all the love. And really, isn’t that what it’s all about?

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13 Comments

  1. sam
    January 13, 2017 / 09:55

    I can’t tell you how happy it has made me to read this. So positive. I knew you’d come out the other side stronger for it. You are amazing, you go girl <3

    • January 14, 2017 / 08:41

      <3 <3 thanks so much lovely, amazing myself how strong I can be!

  2. January 13, 2017 / 11:27

    I love this post Polly. So happy and positive! So happy for you and those lovely, fabulous kiddos! xxx

  3. January 13, 2017 / 15:04

    You are such a totally inspiring mum, so glad you are finding happiness xxx

    • January 14, 2017 / 08:42

      <3 thanks penny xxx

  4. Courtney Martin
    January 13, 2017 / 16:09

    I love this post so much. It’s amazing to see the positivity and grace you have in a tough situation.

    • January 14, 2017 / 08:43

      Thank you! it’s been tough as hell, trying to do my best x

  5. January 13, 2017 / 18:38

    Am so pleased you’ve found the faith in yourself. I’m sure there are still hard times but it seems you and the kids are thriving. Love how you are embracing your new normal. You should be so proud. You are not just glue you are super glue. Welcome to 2017 – your year.

    • January 14, 2017 / 08:42

      We’re certainly getting there, looking forward to this year being AMAZING!

  6. January 13, 2017 / 19:02

    well done gorgeous lady you deserve all the happiness in the world! x

    • January 14, 2017 / 08:41

      Thanks Lori xxx

  7. Sam
    January 13, 2017 / 21:42

    Lovely to read. Glad you have found the positives. Xx

  8. abi whitehouse
    January 24, 2017 / 22:34

    you nailed it. right there :)

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