Life lately – what’s been going on around here
March! How did that happen? I swear it was New Years, like, yesterday! The first couple of months have really flown by, and I’m guessing the next couple will too, and before I know it, this baby will be here. While the time seems to be flying by, it seems like nothing has happened. Lately, I feel like I’m in limbo. Caught in a place I never expected to be again, expecting a baby, single, a future unknown. I’ve been struggling to bring my anxiety and depression under control, fighting the sinking feeling and not always winning.
No matter what is going on, life keeps on moving. Even on days when I can’t face the world, we are always busy. The kiddos are as busy as ever with various groups. Miss Baya took {and pased} her next gymanstic grades a few weeks back, Kiki is practicing for another gymnastics competition as well as working on a play with her drama group for which she is Stage Manager. Lola is happy at school, having just sat some mock exams, as well as a couple of ‘real’ GCSE’s which she got good grades on. Beastie just started a new gymanstic class {he calls it big boy gym} which he is loving.
We took a trip a couple of weeks ago back to my dad’s, we timed it with the crazy pre-spring weather so the kiddos had a blast playing in his garden and at the play park. It was good to get a few days away from the daily grind. Though whenever I go home, it makes me wish I didn’t live so far away from them. I don’t know whether a move back would ever be on the cards – certainly not for the next year while Lola’s in the midst of GCSE’s, and it would be hard to uproot the kiddos as all their friends and groups are here. For me too, I love living in Wales and am not sure I’d want to leave, though being somewhere that I had a support system would be fantastic right now.
Other than that, we’ve just been caught up in the normal routine. Homeschool work, various groups, my work, and life. I’m hanging on in here by a thread at the moment, hoping for some kind of miracle to come along and make life easier, bareable, something that gives me hope that the future will be brighter, that happiness will come along, that I can create a life where I feel free, and not so trapped as I do now.
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