Do We Grow More Resilient as We Age?

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You might think that you are born with certain emotional traits already ingrained in your DNA. Your life experiences may well be an influential factor in how resilient and optimistic you are at various stages of your journey, but is there actually a general propensity to become more resilient as we age?

Resilience is all about having the ability to adapt, recover, and keep moving forward in the face of hardship. It is very often seen as something you either have or you don’t. But there’s plenty of anecdotal evidence that your level of resilience isn’t fixed. It can grow, evolve, and even strengthen over time.

It is a question that fascinates many psychologists and plenty of everyday folk too, do we actually become more resilient as we age?

The short answer is yes, for a good number of us. While aging certainly brings its own challenges, from health issues to life transitions, it also gives us a set of tools and perspectives that younger versions of ourselves don’t have. If you were to look at a cross-section of residents of 55+ communities in Texas, for instance, you would find plenty of people who are the very epitome of someone who displays a high level of resilience and stoicism.

Many of us are able to develop coping strategies that improve our lives as we get older, and this may well be one of the most valuable benefits of aging.

An undeniable connection between age and resilience

Without doubt, resilience is shaped by experience. When we’re younger, many of life’s challenges are new and overwhelming. You have to suffer major setbacks like a breakup, or a job loss, to be able to learn from the experience.

These events, as traumatic as they are at the time, help to provide a roadmap for future resilience. As we age, having already lived through dozens of those moments, it allows us to build a pretty good level of resilience.

Psychologists actually have a term that describes how we come out of these experiences in a positive way. It is called stress inoculation. In essence, it supports the idea that surviving stressful events prepares us to handle future ones more effectively.

Life teaches us a good lesson about hardship

Life delivers a series of lessons as time goes by. The good news is that one of the benefits of aging is that you often develop a much better sense of perspective. What might have felt like the end of the world when you were in your 20s, now seems more like just another bump in the road.

Fundamentally, experience gives us hard evidence that pain, grief, and disappointment will eventually soften and fade into the background.

Aging helps us identify what truly matters. Instead of wasting energy on minor setbacks, we save our strength for challenges that affect our health, relationships, or values.
It is also fair to say that self-awareness is another key factor when it comes to resilience. Older adults tend to have a stronger sense of identity, which makes it easier to face adversity without feeling lost.

Optimism and aging are closely linked

It is abundantly clear that resilience is closely tied to optimism. Quite simply, you develop a belief that things can improve and that our actions make a difference.

Interestingly, there’s plenty of clues to suggest that optimism doesn’t always decline with age. In fact, you could argue that the opposite is true. Many people maintain or even increase their optimistic outlook later in life.

It’s all about emotional regulation. Older adults are generally better at managing their emotions, letting go of negativity, and focusing on positive aspects of life. What seems to happen is that we shift our attention toward more uplifting experiences and memories as we grow older.

Optimism also comes from a sense of gratitude. As time passes, we become more aware of the fragility of life, which can actually heighten appreciation for the present.

That gratitude helps fuel a more hopeful, and forward-looking mindset.

Community can play a pivotal role

Another factor that boosts resilience with age is the importance we place on relationships. Younger years may be defined by chasing achievement or status, but older adults often shift toward nurturing family ties, friendships, and community connections.

That’s why it is often the case that you can make lots of new friends and enjoy strong social bonds when you become part of a retirement community. Older adults who invest in relationships often find that they have a network of support to carry them through tough times.

Work on cultivating resilience as you age

There are some practical ways to boost and further enhance your levels of resilience and optimism.

Maintaining personal connections is an important thing to do. In later life, you have a greater ability to make time for friends, family, and community. Remember, isolation is one of the biggest threats to resilience.

It always helps to keep learning. Whether it’s a new hobby, language, or exercise routine, personal development growth, at any age, builds confidence and adaptability. Taking care of your body is another important strategy to help you build resilience. Exercise, nutrition, and rest all influence how well we handle stress.

All of these highlighted points strongly support the notion that we definitely become more resilient with age, or at least have the capacity to do so.
Life experiences, a greater sense of perspective, and stronger emotional regulation, are all contributory factors that help to build resilience and fuel a sense of optimism in later years.

Naturally enough, we all have different life experiences, some better than others. For sure, aging doesn’t remove hardships, but it does at least give us a broader lens to view certain issues through.

Ultimately, we develop an ability to learn to let go of what we can’t control, and to savor what matters.

Despite living in a culture that often unfairly fears aging, it’s worth remembering: with each passing year, we’re not just getting older, we’re also getting stronger in ways that truly count and give us strength and optimism throughout our life.