Why We Should All Make Time For ‘Date Nights’

If I had to give couples one piece of advice, it would be to make time for date night. So many couples don’t make the effort to go out on dates, and then moan that their relationship isn’t as good as it used to be. There’s no magical remedy for a healthy relationship; it takes hard work, effort and time alone with your partner.

When I was first dating my husband, going on dates was easy. But now that we have four little ones relying on us, dating is a lot more complicated than before. We can’t just spontaneously plan a date, every last detail of date night has to be meticulously planned out weeks in advance. With such a big, hectic family to look after, planning a date is like a military operation.

However, while getting out the door takes a lot of effort, once we are in the restaurant alone, we know that the hard work was worth it.

A few of my friends have asked me why we bother with date night, especially when it requires such a large amount of effort and planning. For us, having the chance to get out of the house and spend some one-on-one time together is important. My partner and I know that alone time is what it takes to make our relationship work, so we always ensure that we get the time we need.

Like all couples, we have our ups and downs. But by getting out of the house and having time to talk our problems through, most of the time our relationship is a happy one.

I honestly believe, that if more couples made time for date nights, there would be far less unhappy marriages. That’s why I put together this simple guide to why we all need to make more time for date night.

Time to yourselves

When you have a large family like I do, spending quality time with your partner is rare. Especially, when the children are young and require constant care and attention. While my husband and I might get the odd chance for a quick chat during the week, that’s about it.

In a relationship, having time to yourselves is key. Without alone time, making a success of your marriage is incredibly hard. Without any time to yourselves to talk, having a healthy relationship is nearly impossible.

With so much going on in our hectic lives, it’s far too easy to get caught up in everyday tasks. By planning a date night every couple of weeks, you can ensure that you and your partner have the chance to talk and keep communication lines open.

Time to focus on your relationship

Everyday tasks, like doing the laundry and cooking dinner, very rarely help to strengthen your relationship. As a mum, my daily tasks focus mainly on the children and home, not on my husband. And as a result of that, I rarely have time to focus on our relationship.

If you fail to make time for your marriage, far too easily your relationship will begin to blend into the background. You will forget about things like flirting, showing affection and being intimate. Instead, your life will revolve around your children. Having a few hours to yourselves every couple of weeks will allow you to spend time focusing on your relationship.

If you start seeing your partner simply as someone who is helping you to co-parent, this is a sign that a date night is needed immediately. Don’t let your marriage go sour by not putting the time into it. Make an effort to spend at least a few hours each week focusing on your relationship.

Time to be romantic

Picture from Flickr

For me, a big part of my relationship with my husband is romance. We might have four children and lots of other things to think about, but we still enjoy being romantic with each other.

Throughout the week, we might have the odd flirt or kiss here and there, but date night is our primary time for romance. During the week when we are both busy, it can be a struggle to find the time for a conversation, let alone any romantic gestures. But we both know that even if we don’t tell each other how much we care during the week, we can show our love on date night.

The small gestures my husband makes, like treating me to a bunch of flowers from Serenata Flowers is all I need to see how much he cares. It might only be a small thing, but it means a lot to me.

If you have children and a hectic lifestyle, I believe that having a regular date night is key. How else are you expected to find the time to show each other how much you care?

Time to be intimate

With kids running around and a screaming baby to take care of, during the week there is very little chance of my partner and I being intimate. When I say intimate, I’m not just talking about sex. Intimacy is so much more than sex; it’s being physically close to each other, doing things like holding hands and cuddling. When we go out to dinner or to see a movie, we have the opportunity to be intimate with each other. We hold hands, we kiss, there are no children to think about, it’s just the two of us.

If you have noticed that your relationship is lacking intimacy, don’t blame it on having children. The reason your relationship lacks intimacy is because you don’t make time for yourselves. Without date night, my husband and I would have very few chances to be intimate with each other. And because of that, we probably would be a lot less happy together than we are.

Of all the relationship advice available, the key to having a successful relationship is date night. In my opinion, making the effort to spend quality time with your partner is crucial if you want your relationship to work.