The Divorce Myths You’ve Heard – And Why They’re Wrong

Divorce can be a draining process – both financially and emotionally. It’s regarded by many with a degree of dread. After all, few people who enter into a marriage anticipate ever getting divorced – despite the fact that a significant portion of marriages end this way.

It’s partly for this reason that so many pernicious myths surround the process. Some of them are partly grounded in reality – while others are flat-out wrong. Let’s take a look at some of the more common ones.

Myth: Divorce Always Has to Be Messy and Bitter

Not all break-ups need be acrimonious. Sometimes, you might just realise that you’d both be happier going your separate ways. It’s only when disputes arise that divorce becomes painful. But there are ways to make this less likely. You might take a collaborative approach to settling conflict, rather than the adversarial approach found in a courtroom. Many couples choose mediation, arbitration, and other methods of alternative dispute resolution. A good family law solicitor can help to make this happen.

Myth: Mothers Always Get Full Custody of Children

Family courts in the UK are legally obliged to prioritise the best interests of the child. In most cases, this means that the mother gets custody. But this is far from a general rule. Fathers are increasingly being awarded joint custody of the child – or even primary custody. If fathers can demonstrate that they can provide the right environment for the child to grow up in, then they will improve their chances in divorce proceedings.

Myth: Divorce Means Losing Half of Everything

The way that assets are divided can depend on a range of factors, including the country you’re resident in, and the needs of any dependents, like children. If one party in a divorce is going to be awarded custody of the children, then they’ll be given a larger slice of the assets involved.

You can avoid disputes, and protect your wealth, by signing a prenuptial agreement before entering into the marriage. These documents are becoming increasingly popular in the United Kingdom, despite longstanding taboos around them.

Myth: Divorce Ruins Children’s Lives

Divorce can be a challenging thing for children to deal with. However, research indicates that ‘staying together for the kids’ might be even more damaging. A child who is forced to listen to his parents constantly bicker and snipe at one another, or engage in shouting matches, might suffer more than one who is being looked after by two happy, but separated, parents.

Moreover, the psychological harms that stem from divorce are often a product of uncertainty. Be honest with your children, and reassure them that the divorce isn’t a consequence of anything that they have done. Set out a parenting plan so that you and your former spouse can look after your child in a way that’s consistent and in tune with your preferences.

Myth: Once You’re Divorced, You’ll Never Be Happy Again

Most divorcees go on to lead happy and fulfilling lives after the marriage, pursuing their personal priorities, growing, and entering into other rewarding relationships. It’s therefore a mistake to view divorce as a negative thing. The outcome can often justify the expense and emotional turmoil.