Lockdown Life

As we’e coming {hopefully} to the tail end of this lockdown, I’ve been thinking about how life has been.

The first lockdown seemed like a breeze. I’ll be honest and admit that the first month was so appreciated. It was nice to just stop, y’know? To not have to be clock watching all the time, rushing from one thing to another. I realised how privileged we are. To be able to have stayed safe at home, with no real worries. My work is all online so that just carried on through the whole of the last year. I’m grateful I haven’t had the financial stresses so many people have.

As time has gone on, it’s felt harder and harder. I, like so many others, have definitely found this lockdown harder on my mental health. A combination of the time of year and the effect of almost a year of no normal life.

We’re missing other people. Missing home ed groups. Missing being able to hop on the bus or train and visit a different city. Missing museums and the cinema, swimming and bowling, meeting friends at soft play, weekends away, and playdates.

The kids are all doing ok. They’ve all had times when they’ve found it harder. The biggest two are fed up of online lessons, though Kiki is back to college this week as her college is in England. Kiki and Baya are desperate to get back into the gym – gymnastics via zoom just isn’t the same, and they miss the camaraderie of their teammates.

Oren doesn’t know any different, which is sad in a way, and sometimes I think of all the things he hasn’t been able to do that we would normally have done by now and feel awful. Yet he has gained so much too – from not having to be dragged around taking his sibling’s various places, from having four bigger kids home 24/7 to play with him.

Beastie perhaps has found it hardest. Six-year-old boys don’t really do phone calls with their friends, or long zoom calls chatting… they want to run around and play crazy games, and while he’s had a few calls he doesn’t really like it. He misses his friends. He needs to be out having adventures and playing make-believe with them at home ed groups.

There have been good things though. The extra time together is wonderful. I’m so grateful to have had all this time with them that I wouldn’t normally ahve had – especially as there’s only a year or so until Lola will go off to university. We’ve learned that we can find enjoyment in simple things, and in each others company.

I’m hopeful that with Spring around the corner, better weather will make things easier even if restrictions are still in place. January and February were cold and wet, and none of us were very inclined to go for long walks! I’m ready for walks through the woods again, days splashing at the river, the feeling of freedom being out of the house for hours can bring.