This week has been and gone and I’ve not managed to write on here. There is so much I want to write, and so many jotted down notes with half formed ideas. Somehow the week has slipped away with me and I haven’t had a chance to sit and write.
I’m taking a quiet ten minutes with a cup of tea, while Oren naps and the other four are all occupied. A few minutes to clear my head and gather my thoughts. IT’s felt like a full on week and I’ve not had a chance to breathe.
There’s a quiet feeling of… something inside of me. I’m not quite sure what. Emotions brewing, close to the surface. A tinge of sadness maybe, though I can’t quite pinpoint it.
In days gone by I’d have felt bad for feeling bad. Tried to ignore it, or push it down, or drink it away. Hoped that it would vanish. Now though, I’m just sitting with it. Feelings are just feelings, not good or bad, they just are what they are. I know everything is good, and I am happy and loved and safe to feel whatever this is.
It’s such a gift and one I’m trying to teach my kiddos. To be in tune with yourself. To listen to what you are feeling and honor those feelings. To try to figure out what they are telling you and really listen so you can do whatever is needed to work through them.
I’ve been tired all week, forever trying to fit too much into my weeks, worrying about finances, trying to work as much as possible to earn more, Christmas is coming, I haven’t had a chance to take a few hours out for myself this week, and maybe I’m just in need of some TLC. An evening away, adult time, good company, a drink or two and to just be.
For now, I’m remembering to be kind to myself. To let things go today and focus on breathing. We’re catching up with friends this afternoon, then I’m planning an evening with my eldest, baby in bed and the others at their Dad’s. Weepy movie, vegan ice-cream and a bottle of wine. That should do the trick for now.