Coming home to me

“I have lost and loved and won and cried myself to the person I am today.”

Charlotte Eriksson

In the last few months I’ve felt more me than I ever have. I feel like a whole differnet person. I hunkered down for the last eighteen months, trying to survive an abusive relationship, deal with the aftermath of it, as well as navigate having a baby alone.

My walls went up, and I shut out much of the world, while I healed myself and readjusted my life around. Healing doesn’t have to be messy, nor does it have to be visible to the outside world.

It was as though I hibernated for a while, used the silence and space to heal my heart.

The heartaches and hardships of the last few years have shaped me. while I wouldn’t wish what I have been through on anyone, I am the person I am today because of them. The tears and loves lost have made me who I am, they have given me the strength I never knew that I had, they have made me re-examine every single part of who I am, stripped away the deadwood and left only what I need.

I feel like I have finally broken free of the shackles that have held me back all of my life, let go of the negative self-believes that I have taken as gospel, stopped believing that I am worthless and undeserving of happiness.

Through my tears I have grown, through the heartbreak I have become stronger, through the hard times I have found deep reserves of resilience. I have stopped looking to others to validate me, to save me, to give me love, and I have learned to find those things inside of me.

I am the hero of my own story, I have grown through the hard times, and used the lessons I have learned to become the best version of myself.