Hard days

It’s been a long week. My eldest has been sick all week long, at first I thought she had a virus {and panicked because that would mean the rest of us would likely get ill}, but it seems she has food poisoning. She’s been bedbound all week, and hasn’t kept anything down since Saturday. Add in a couple of long days out, a four-year-old who won’t go to sleep at night without me in the bed, and a baby who has been really unsettled the last couple of nights, and I am done.

I had a little cry earlier. Even though I’m kind of used to getting up 2/3 times with the baby, the extra awake time with him as made me more exhausted than normal. Lack of sleep and I don’t go – my mental health suffers from even one sleepless night.

I am stressed out. Tired. Emotional. Spent.

The kind of day when I could have done with someone to give me half an hour to nap… or make me a meal…. or just give me a hug. These are the days it’s hard when you realise there is no-one to call on to come and help out.

We got out to the supermarket as we were low on everything, went to pay to find I’d left my bank card at home on the side…..

It’s the kind of day you long for bedtime, whilst also dreading it as you’ll probably not get much sleep anyway.

So, I’m trying to be kind to myself. Lots of {decaf} tea. I bought a dairy free chocolate bar for later. Reminding myself this too shall pass. Knowing that the baby will grow, and not always need feeding all night long. That the four year old won’t always want to snuggle me and I will miss him when he doesn’t. Remembering that it is OK to find it hard, and that

on those days that are tough, it’s OK to cry, to drop everything that isn’t essential and to just breathe.