Dear Bean – Week Twenty Five

Dear Bean

25 down, 15 to go {or thereabouts!}. Bean is getting wrigglier and wrigglier by the day, though ten pm seems to be his favourite time! Nothing much to report pregnancy wise, all seems to be good, I get a little achey but nothing a bath doesn’t sort out.

The past couple of weeks have been tough, emotionally, though I don’t really think it’s particularly pregnancy-related. Obviously, the extra hormones and pressure of a pregnancy as a single Mama aren’t helping… but there is so much else going on, that it’s all gotten on top of me a little.

I’m trying not to overthink the whole having a baby by myself thing, though my brain seems to be wired to overthink every little thing. I know, somehow, it’ll all work out, yet right now, it seems like a monumental task that I’m not sure I can cope with. Wishing so much I had family around, or I could move back home nearer my Dad, but that’s not really something that could happen, right now at least.

The kiddos are SO excited, and I’m trying to be, but it’s hard at the moment to get past the overwhelming feeling of ‘oh fuck, how am I going to do all of this?!’. Right now, I’m not quite sure how to get past that, and just be more ‘go with the flow’, knowing that things will work out.