A festive life update

Hey guys! With only five sleeps to Christmas, the excitement levels in my house are through the roof. Maybe not from the teen, but even my tweenager is pretty excited {though that’s probably mostly down to the much-longed-for make-up palette she’s hoping will be under the tree on Christmas morning!!}. December seems to have flown by, with one kiddo in school, and two girls crazily busy with commitments from gymnastics and a role in Panto, I’ve barely had time to stop all month. Today is a catch-up day – we have a few things from our activity advent to catch up on as this week has been manic, and we’ve just not had a chance to do everything we needed/wanted.

I wanted to pop in with a quick life update, as it feels like I’m dashing in and out of this space, and I miss having the time to just sit and write about what’s going on right now.

Sometimes I stop and look around, and it amazes me how far we’ve come. How much has changed, yet hasn’t changed at the same time. The girls are getting so big. I’m in denial that Lola will be 16 in five months time. 16!!! It’s crazy to think she is almost a grown up, that in a couple of years she might be ready to fly the nest and head out on her own adventures in life. SOB. Kiki is 12 and loving taking part in Panto right now. She’s a born performer, loves being on stage and loves being busy and sociable. Baya is 9 and literally spends all her time doing gymnastics. 16 hours of training a week, plus a couple of extra hours when she helps coach, and that’s pretty much her life. It amazes me how good she is, that she has the confidence to get up and compete, and show her skills in front of a room full of people. Most of all, I love that she has something she loves so much, you know?

As for my Beastie boy, he is about to turn 4 on the 28th. He thinks it is amazing that he only has three sleeps after Christmas until it’s his birthday! He’s so full of character now. The sweetest, I love waking up with his arm wrapped around my neck, or fingers tangled in my hair {even if he is a bed hog}. He loves to wind his sisters up, and certainly knows how to do it. Having grown up with three big sisters, he’s not shy about making himself known and doesn’t take any nonsense from them. He’s inquisitive and clever and thoughtful – I love listening to him chatter about how things work, or what he’d like to do when he is big {right now, that’s to be ‘someone who glues broken plates back together!!}. But four – in my mind he’s still my tiny baby!

Yesterday when the kiddos were all out, I went and picked up the very last Christmas gift on my list. Now they are all wrapped, and hidden, waiting for Santa to put them under the tree on Christmas Eve. Christmas is by no means about spending money, or buying gifts, the things I love the most are the traditions we have, the crafts we make, the evenings spent together watching festive movies in front of the tree, the memories we make and just spending time together. Still, though, I love watching the joy on my kiddos faces on Christmas morning when they find those longed for gifts under the tree. I love treating them to the things that they want the most. They don’t have long lists, they don’t ask for ridiculous amounts of things or overly expensive things. Beastie asked for bike, some toys for the cats and a light-up yo-yo – that’s it. They rarely ask for much during the year, they know that money is tight and while we have everything we need, and a few things we want, they’re not kids who think they have the right to have material goods bought all the time.

Come Christmas, I love being able to spoil them, just a little. To give them a little bit of magic, even just for one day. I won’t lie – this year {most years to be honest, but more than ever this year}, I had zero idea how I was going to make Christmas happen. The past three or four months have been hard, financially. I’ve worked so hard to keep the five of us afloat these last two years as a single parent, and then suddenly over the summer, things dissolved a little. I let myself get sucked in, and took my eye off the ball. SO as Christmas drew closer, I was a little concerned about how I was going to pull it off. So sitting in my living room yesterday, having bought the last gift, I felt happy. Proud of myself, for having pulled it off, for having worked hard to get things back on track without any help from anyone else. That I have the ability to support my little family.

It’s a reminder that I am stronger and more capable than I think. That I don’t need rescuing, that I don’t need someone to step in and take control. THat I am just fine the way I am. That’s something that I seem to forget from time to time. I am not always good at standing up for myself and saying what I want/need, but that’s something that I am working on. Finding that I know inside what I need to be happy, what I don’t need, and that I am not prepared to compromise if it means losing my freedom/happiness.

Now, I’m off back to my kiddos to spend the day covered in glitter and sitting under twinkly fairy lights, getting ready for Christmas.