this time last year, I was excited for all we had planned for the coming year, for growing as a family, having lots of fun and adventures, seeing the kiddos grow and thrive. For working hard and building something to last. Our first new year in our new house – a fresh start for us all. There was a lot of good in the year – it’s easy to lose sight of that in how the year ended. Along the way we had fun – the kiddos and I went to Bluestone, Camp Bestival, the Just So Festival… we had fun days out with friends, picnics, movie nights, crafty days together. There was an awful lot of love and fun in there.
When my world fell apart in September, it totally knocked me for six. I didn’t see it coming at all.. in fact, I thought things were better than ever. Which left me feeling completely broken, questioning everything and ridiculously niave. To find out that you’d been lied to for years and years, and everything wasn’t what you thought it probably one of the worst things another person can do to you. I fell fast, and I fell hard, and I’m so thankful for the friends who have stuck by and held me up.
it’s been a rollercoaster of a few months, but I’ve found a strength that I didn’t know I had. My trust has been shattered, more so by the careless way I was treated in the aftermath than the actual events that made it come about. My eyes have been opened wide, and so many things have clicked into place – things that I ignored, comments I tried to pass off, lack of support that I tried to forget about.
I’ve had two months as a single Mama, and while personally, I’m in a difficult place, it’s the best decision I have ever made. My home is my sanctuary now – for me and for my kiddos. Free for the most part of the negativity and constant criticisms that had become a way of life. Free to get on with our lives, to do what is best for the five of us. Day to day, nothing much has changed as I did everything by myself anyway, but with a lighter, happier atmosphere at home, we’re all in a better place – even my grumpy teenager spends more time with the rest of us, instead of hiding in her room out of the way. Win!
With a New Year here at last, I’m more than ready to leave the last year behind me. To let go of what was, and move on. I’ve a new project launching tomorrow, and so many plans in mind for 2017. I think it’s going to be THE best year we’ve had in a very long time. A party of five.