Remembering Loved Ones During The Festive Season

As the excitement builds in the run-up to Christmas, it’s almost impossible not to get caught up in it all, especially if you have young children in your family. Christmas itself, and the events that lead up to it such as parties, visits to Santa’s grotto, ice-skating trips and carol concerts make it a fun time of year.

“Brooklyn Street Scenes – Christmas Scene” (CC BY 2.0) by Steven Pisano

But if you’ve lost someone who is close to you, Christmas can feel also be tinged with sadness as you remember the person who’s no longer with you to share in all the festivities. Of course, you think about that person at other times during the year, but there’s something particularly emotional in holidays and special occasions.

So how can you make time to reflect and remember the person who has passed without feeling too miserable and bereft, at a time when there’s an expectation to have a good time? Here are some ideas that might help.

Tell Some Stories

No matter when you lost your friend or relative, you can always talk about them. It’s good to remember them through sharing some memories about them with other members of your family, or in the circle of friends that you shared. They don’t all have to be idealised memories, either. You shouldn’t feel disrespectful if you talk about some of their quirks and foibles in addition to reminiscing all the things you loved about them. And scientists say that’s good for you. Nostalgic stories might bring some tears, but they will probably bring you some joy and laughter too.

“Christmas Reflections” (CC BY 2.0) by Eldar

Try a Medium Reading

You may also feel that you didn’t get a chance to tell the person who died something important. Such a thing could bother you if left unresolved. The classic way to reach out to your loved one’s spirit and connect with them is through a medium reading. It’s really simple to arrange one these days, thanks to the fact that so many mediums conduct phone and online readings through sites such as TheCircle. Having a reading with a medium can be emotional, yet it is ultimately an uplifting experience. As well as getting an opportunity to say something to your loved one, you might also seek their guidance via the medium who is channeling their spirit. Most people find the experience of a medium reading very comforting.

Create a Memory Decoration

“Day 31 – Remembering Mum” (CC BY-SA 2.0) by Menage a Moi

If there’s going to be someone missing at your family gathering this Christmas, honour their memory by getting the whole family involved in making a memory chain or wreath. Using the same paper you’d use for regular paper chains, you can all write down your own memories about the person on the strips of paper and then join them together and hang it over the mantelpiece or on the Christmas tree. Alternatively, you can make a door or wall wreath and pin the messages on there. People can then read the messages and you can all honour the memory the person together.

Take Some Time Out If You Need To

The pressure to be jolly in the festive season can be exhausting, especially if you’ve recently suffered a bereavement. Don’t put yourself through the mill if there’s no need to. If you don’t feel like being sociable, then remember you can decline some party invitations and take comfort under the duvet on the sofa now and then. That said, try not to cut yourself off and become isolated. This could end up making you feel worse than you already do. If you’ve lost someone important to you, seek out other people who loved them and give each other comfort.

Christmas is generally a lot of fun, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about enjoying it, no matter who is missing. And if you’ve lost a close friend or relative, you don’t need to suppress your feelings about them in case you bring other people down. Instead, raise a glass (metaphorical or otherwise) to their memory and embrace those close to you, sharing some stories about your loved one.