Good days, bad days and all the rest

If there is one thing that I’ve been reminded of in the past ten weeks, it’s that some days will be great, some days will suck and then they’ll be some days that are just a little big ‘meh’.

Small babies are unpredictable. You just think you’ve got them sussed and they’ll change tack and throw you completely. Add in to the mix three older kiddos, a husband, a house to run, homeschooling to do AND a business to run and pretty quickly you have a recipe for a totally crazy life.

good days, bad days, parenting

The past year or two, we’d found a pretty happy groove with our family life. Days when Papa was at work/college, the girlies and I had our own little routine going. Mornings would be full of homeschooling, afternoons projects and time for Mama to work. There would be days out, fun in the garden and impromptu plans.

Vega’s arrival kinda threw everything up in the air. Of course, we knew it would. The first few weeks were that gray, fuzzy baby world – full of sleeping, and feeding, and sleeping {baby not me!} and more feeding… we focused on basics, making sure we were all fed and clean and cuddled.

Slowly we began to emerge and life got back to normal – albeit a slightly new, different kind of normal.

Those things I took for granted {like a full nights sleep and uninterrupted work time} were long gone, and everything seemed to take five times as long as before. You can guarantee if I sit at my desk to work, the baby will wake up or someone will need me. Right. This. Very. Second.

Some days are awful. Days when you get out of bed and count how many hours until you {might} get to climb back in. When the baby is naggy, and doesn’t want to do anything other than nurse. When the big kiddos spend the whole day arguing with each other. When everyone seems to have gotten out of bed the wrong side. No work gets done, the house looks like a bomb has gone off, at least one person is in tears at any time, you grab whatever food you can – forget the meal plan. Trying to juggle a million different things at once, you end up a frazzled mess at the end of the day, stressed that nothing has gotten done.

Then there are the good days. When you wake up refreshed, the sun is shining, the kiddos wake up in good moods, the baby is smiling and happy, and lays under his play gym or in his chair and is fascinated by his toys. When you turn the radio up and have an impromptu dance party in the kitchen. The kids bake cakes, you get to drink a HOT cup of tea, answer emails, tick a few boxes off your to-do list, hang the washing out, listen to kids read to you, get some work done, take photos for work and edit those photos, write a bit more, fold the laundry, tidy the house, go for a walk to enjoy some fresh air, cook the dinner, play a game or two, bath the little ones, watch an episode of your favourite show with the baby before getting him settled for the night…. and collapse into bed, exhausted but happy that this is your life.

And then there are days that fall somewhere between the two. Where there are arguments but also smiles, the house may be a tip but some work has gotten done, dinner cooked and lots of hugs handed out.

I’m remembering it’s all about lowering my expectations. I am not superwoman. I have four kids, one of whom is a tiny baby, I have a house to run, kids to homeschool and a business to run too. I can only do so much in one day. I’ve found that the days that I wake up and plan to do a zillion things, are the days it all goes wrong, I end up not doing anything other than being stressed that I’m not doing anything.

It’s all about going with the flow. Prioritising what needs doing. My kids always come first. If that means the baby wants to nurse all day, that the house ends up a mess, and work not done, then that is ok. These days are fleeting. These days of them needing me so fully will not last forever. One day I’ll find myself with an empty house and all of the time in the world to tidy it and work. Right now, my house is full, and I’m embracing the noise, and the mess and all the madness that having four kids brings with it.

vega 1052

And at least on those days when I’m feeling like a failure, feeling like nothing has been done, stuck on the sofa under a nursing baby, I can look down and see these little fingers tightly clasping my sweater, holding on, sleeping latched on, not wanting to let go or be put down for a nap. My heart swells and my eyes fill up at all of the love that I have, and I know that truly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

12 Comments

  1. Jamie B

    March 9, 2015 at 11:23

    Love, love, LOVE this! :-) I’m not a mom yet, so I could never truly understand the sleepless nights, kiddos running around, craziness that is a normal family household. But I think everyone feels like this from time to time and you have to be able to step back and acknowledge that things aren’t always going to be the best, but that it’s totally okay and, more importantly, totally normal.

  2. Slummy single mummy

    March 9, 2015 at 11:42

    God, I read this and think ‘what the hell do I have to EVER complain about??’ I have just one child at home, and she is 12 and pretty independent. It takes me back though… *shudders*

    Of course you’re right though, the rewards when the day goes well are immense :-)

  3. Jess @ Along Came Cherry

    March 9, 2015 at 18:18

    Ah I love this! Tiger used to grasp onto my jumper like that when he was feeding, makes me broody! But yeah I can totally imagine how hectic life must be. I found it so hard to get anything done with Tiger until he was about 18 months old. Now things are relatively easy again and I want to go back! X

  4. 76sunflowers

    March 9, 2015 at 18:25

    ‘These days are fleeting’ yes it all. I need to stand back and take stock of what I do have before the negativity seeps in some days. You are doing a fantastic job x

  5. Kathryn

    March 9, 2015 at 19:08

    Such a lovely post and I registered with every word. Embrace the chaos – that’s our mantra and remember as you do that it all goes so quickly xx

  6. laura redburn

    March 9, 2015 at 19:28

    it’s definitely the good days that help you get through the bad ones, and the bad ones to make you realise the ‘meh’ ones aren’t that bad.

  7. Fiona

    March 9, 2015 at 19:42

    Oh this post is so lovely, and so very true. And no-one should ever feel like a failure for having a messy house! (this is my motto for a reason ;)) xxx

  8. Laura

    March 10, 2015 at 15:37

    First of all Vega is such a cutie and I know just what you mean about looking down at them and the heart full up with so much love. I am in the middle of the chaos right now – of course I only have two little people to look after but what felt like we finally had found a groove with the home ed and life in general and then baby arrives and everything has gone out the window – but has been totally worth it. I love reading your updates as they inspire me to carry on and you are in now way a failure ever

    Laura x

  9. Lish

    March 11, 2015 at 00:12

    Ah…you’ve described my life to a tee…although minus an older kiddo, and my littlest is 4 weeks old…oh the business end of things doesn’t even make it into the equation-good thing I am self employed-lol! Thanks for making me feel not so alone in this crazy so called life :)

  10. Lauren Belle du Brighton

    March 14, 2015 at 18:57

    I loved this. So many people pretend that everything is hunky dory and their lives are full of rainbows and unicorns. I prefer to read real peoples accounts of their experiences, just like this! I think anyone who had 4 kids and home schools the older ones at the same time as having a newborn deserves medals! (And unicorns!) I’m already panicking about how we’ll manage with a toddler who still naps and a newborn!

  11. Lori

    March 14, 2015 at 20:20

    Such an honest an refreshing post, I really struggle with one 4 year old so how your managing to do anything is beyond amazing. Keep up the fab work and be kind to yourself xx

  12. Molly

    April 6, 2015 at 22:14

    This is such a beautiful post Polly. And one which I can totally relate to at the moment. xxx

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