Mamaheart
This week’s Mamaheart is Catie from SpirtySol
‘What does motherhood mean to you?’
To me, motherhood means unconditional love. It means nurturing, and guiding, and supporting, and protecting. It means giving life, and then holding our breath as our babes learn to navigate this wild world. It means letting go– trusting that our children will find their way, and trusting that we will find our path as mothers, one stumbling step at a time. Kahlil Gibran does a pretty good job summing up motherhood for me: “You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.”
‘How has motherhood changed you?’
When I was little girl, I used to fantasize about finding a hidden door in my house that lead to a secret room. The day my son was born, it felt like I had found a hidden door in my heart. All of sudden, I felt an overwhelming, all-encompassing love that I’d never experienced before. And each day that love grew stronger and deeper—and continues to do so.
Motherhood also humbled me in a powerful way. Before my son was born, I often found myself silently judging other mothers for their parenting choices—for using formula instead of breastfeeding, for pushing their babies in strollers instead of wearing them in slings, for feeding their children Cheetos instead of organic apples. I had a long list of expectations for myself as a mother. And then my son was born and my world turned on its head. I did manage to breastfeed and wear my baby as I had hoped to do, but I failed at every other “goal” I set for myself pre-baby. We do not have a sugar-free, TV-free, organic-only household as I once planned. My son watches more movies and eats more processed snacks than I ever imagined I would permit. But he is also a happy, energetic, bright little boy—and I am more relaxed and balanced mother than I could be when holding myself to my sky-high standards.
The more I “failed” at being the perfect, natural mother, the more compassion and understanding I had for other mothers. I no longer judge the women I see in the grocery store for their choices—I know that we’re all doing our best on this wild ride of motherhood.
‘What is the hardest part of being a mama?’
The most challenging part of being a mama for me is being “on” all of the time. My little one stopped napping before he turned 2, so from the moment he wakes up in the morning to the moment he falls asleep, I’m on call. Even when I’m sick or crabby or exhausted, there is a little being that depends on me, so crawling back into bed isn’t an option.
‘What is the biggest joy that your children have given you?’
Watching my son become his own person has been the biggest joy for me. I love seeing his personality develop, watching him discover new interests, and watching him light up with excitement and curiosity. My son’s emotions are always on the surface— his sparkling eyes and shrieking laughter are contagious—I can’t help but be happy when he is.
‘What one piece of advice would you give a first time mama?’
Prioritize rest! When my son was little, I brushed off all the advice to “sleep when the baby sleeps,” and ended up wearing myself raw from exhaustion. Instead of resting with my little one, I tried to keep up with endless cycles of dishes and laundry and housework.
To all the new mamas: You will have plenty of years to have a clean house and folded laundry. Nobody really cares if you live in yoga pants and wrinkled shirts or if your carpet hasn’t been vacuumed in weeks and you can’t find your sink under the pile of dishes. While you’re still in the trenches of life with a babe, focus on what really matters—rest!
I’m looking for more Mama’s to take part in this series. If you’d like to be involved, please drop me an email!
33 Comments
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Fritha
April 23, 2014 at 08:30prioritise rest is SUCH a good tip! totally resonate with being ‘on’ all the time too! x
Mums do travel
April 23, 2014 at 08:40This is excellent advice because everything’s harder when you’re tired.
ninjacat
April 23, 2014 at 10:04rest is essential , great advice
Globalmouse
April 23, 2014 at 10:39What a lovely post and that top photo is gorgeous. And I can so relate, watching my children become truly their own people is such a joy – it’s when you can see all the hard work is so worth it!
Kerry
April 23, 2014 at 10:43What a lovely post and photo! Such great advice!x
Anna J
April 23, 2014 at 10:49Great interview- and I love Kahlil Gibran, I’ve learnt some great life lessons from The Prophet. x
Charli
April 23, 2014 at 10:51What a great post! I totally agree that watching my daughter becoming her own person is really the most rewarding thing, just knowing that every day she is growing and turning into a brilliant person makes me happy!
Helen The good life mum
April 23, 2014 at 12:16it really is hard isnt it you on call 24 7 the only time i rest is a few hours sleep at night or a quick cupper adn catch up on the blog lovely picture xx
Mummy of Two
April 23, 2014 at 12:20What a great post and such fabulous advice!
Emily
April 23, 2014 at 13:33Such a lovely post and I can relate to all of that!
Anna
April 23, 2014 at 13:36This is such a lovely post! I love the thing about the hidden door, that perfectly describes the feelings of motherhood!
You Baby Me Mummy
April 23, 2014 at 13:49This is a beautiful post x
Bex Smith
April 23, 2014 at 14:22What a great series, such a lovely post x
Lia
April 23, 2014 at 14:24So, so lovely! Rest? What’s that ;)
abigail
April 23, 2014 at 14:34Love that analogy of finding a little door, so sweet! Some good advice there too!
Michelle
April 23, 2014 at 15:19As my son has grown up the hardest part of being a mum is letting them fly xx A lovely post x
Kizzy
April 23, 2014 at 17:16Great post and I’d love to take part, will email you later
Jess @ Along Came Cherry
April 23, 2014 at 18:36Yep being ‘on’ all the time is so hard, especially during illness! Lovely answers and I think it’s so important to remember that we do have to teach them to live their own lives and not try and control what they do, even if it is out of fear x
Pinkoddy
April 23, 2014 at 19:07What a lovely post. I need to listen to your advice – my oldest is 18 this year and I still don’t rest when they are sleeping.
Lauren
April 23, 2014 at 19:38Catie, this was so good to read at this moment of upsidedown-edness in my world. Thank you for sharing your life with us! Especially the bit about motherhood being humbling. There are so many things I never thought I would allow either, and yet here I am doing them … and at the end of the day, my kid is still loved so much more than he even realizes, and is healthy, and is safe.
So. For the win.
SamFernley @happyhomebird
April 23, 2014 at 20:22Loved reading this. All so very true. I had expectations too and it definitely all changes. I never in a million years for example thought I’d end up home educating my son. I’m a lot more easy going than I imagined I would be.
Fiona
April 23, 2014 at 20:32So agree with things changing once you become a mother. It’s so easy to judge and set expectations before you really understand what parenthood is like! x
Kirsty
April 23, 2014 at 20:44Fantastic! We are all doing are best and motherhood definitely makes you appreciate how hard it is bringing up children. I agree, rest is most important in the baby years. There is a lifetime of laundry ahead but to get there you must look after yourself.
Jenny
April 23, 2014 at 20:51I find it hard being on call all day too, I just need a few hours to myself to feel human again :)
Healthier Mummy
April 23, 2014 at 21:07Two out of three of my kids stopped napping before they turned two as well, so I know what that feels like – really exhausting. Lovely post and wonderful picture.
Sarah Bailey
April 23, 2014 at 21:38What a lovely post, I can only image how life changing yet rewarding having a child is :) x
clare
April 23, 2014 at 21:49some great advice here – thanks for the post :-)
Nayna Kanabar (@SIMPLYF00D)
April 23, 2014 at 22:00I really enjoyed reading this post and it all cam eto light when my daughters were little.You offer good advise.
Kirsty Hijacked By Twins
April 23, 2014 at 22:30Such a lovely post. Rest is so important when you have a baby x
Laura
April 23, 2014 at 23:55Such a lovely write up and I thought the description about the door opening was too beauty and it’s so true we all really do need to prioritise our life. Great post!
Laura x
lisa prince
April 24, 2014 at 08:01such a fab post and amazing picture x
KARA
April 24, 2014 at 21:35Some great tips, rest is so important when you have a family
Cass@frugalfamily
April 26, 2014 at 08:37What a lovely post – the best thing for me about being a parent is definitely seeing them grow into their own people.