Embracing being alone

For years and years, I avoided being alone. I hated evenings when the kids had gone to bed and my then husband was at work. I’d work all evening long to avoid having to be alone with myself.

As the kiddos grew older, we’d have one-on-one movie nights, or they’d stay up late and I’d go to bed as they did. I filled those evening hours with family, I’d avoid being totally alone in the day and if I was – I’d work, or do the house work.

In the last year or so, I’ve started to embrace being alone. It doesn’t happen often but when it does.. I LOVE it.

The other evening, I hadn’t expected to have a couple of hours to myself, but when the evening I expected didn’t ahappen, I found myself alone. THe old me would have cried – literally, and been so angry that my plans didn’t come to fruitation.

Instead, now I was so happy. I decided to have a date with myself. No work, no housework.

I ate the delicious food I had prepared by myself. Poured a glass of wine. Put a movie on {The Dig}. Put some hair dye on and a face mask. Soaked in a hot bath. Journaled lots.

Those two hours went far too fast, but they felt amazing. To take time to just be me, time that was totally selfish – it was all about making me feel good. Time to work on me, to treat me, to celebrate me.

As a single Mama of five, this time rarely happens so when it does, I’m learning to love it. To let myself sink into that alone time. Enjoy the silence. Do something that is just good for ME.

Do you let yourself have time to yourself?