Dear Bean – Week Thirty Eight

Dear Bean

With only two weeks until you are officially due to arrive earthside, I’m getting more and more impatient. I promised myself I wouldn’t’ this time, but it’s hard not to. So close, yet these last few weeks feel like they drag on forever. I am so tired. SO achy. So ready to not be pregnant.

We’re all just so eager to meet this little bean, and while my feelings have been so mixed all through this pregnancy, I know once he is laid in my arms, all worries and doubts will vanish. I’m more than a little emotional right now, think these hormones of mine are going haywire! I’m trying to be extra kind to myself, and remember that I’m not going crazy, I’m just very pregnant. Giving myself some leeway, and letting my emotions just be what they are, instead of trying to change them, define them, or wonder what on earth is going on.

I had my last pre-birth meeting with my doula last week, I have everything in place for my home birth, so all I really need is Bean to come along. I doubt he will be early though, if he is anything like his brother, then he’ll keep me waiting past his due date.

These last few weeks are the most trying on a Mama’s patience. I’m so ready to move on to the next stage, to actually have a baby in my arms, that it’s hard to trust in my body and just let it go at its own pace.

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