Dear Bean – Week Thirty One

Dear Bean

Nine weeks to go! I’ve felt much better this week… physically and mentally. I’m still tired, and will honestly be glad to not be pregnant, but at the same time I’ve felt a lot more at peace. I’ve had a few good nights sleep which has probably helped, and I’ve been working on not overthinking things, not worrying about the future, not sitting and imagining worst-case scenarios… sure that has helped too!

I haven’t been as achy this week, my back hasn’t hurt as much, and while I get tired after a long day on my feet, it hasn’t felt such a problem the last few days. I’ve really started thinking about the birth, something I haven’t let myself do as I was so scared of doing it alone. But I have a doula booked {the fabulous Catrin of Mama LLeuad}, a friend on stand=by to come over as well, and I’m trying to keep believing that I CAN do it. I’m planning a home birth again this time, and really starting to think about how I want the birth to be, how I want to feel through it, the environment I want, how much I want leaving alone, etc

I’m still nervous about the whole newborn on my own thing, but I know it will work out somehow or another.

I washed a pile of baby blankets the other day, some that were mine when I was a baby, all that have been used for all four of my kiddos already. Having clothes and baby bits that all of mine have used is such a lovely feeling, I have the first babygrow that Beastie wore ready for this little Bean to wear when he arrives.

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