Breastfeeding – celebrating two years

When I was expecting Beastie, one of the things I was most looking forward to was breastfeeding again. My breastfeeding journey with the girls wasn’t so easy, marred with PND, lack of support at home and derogatory comments on a daily basis, I never made it past the three-month mark, which was something that always bothered me a little. By the time Beastie came along, I was a stronger person than when I had the girls, and also took the pressure off myself by letting myself take it slowly and not feel guilty if I did give up. After all, a fed baby is best, and a happy Mama equals a happy baby. Breast is best if it works for everyone involved.

But here were, two years on {actually two years and 19 days on} and we’re still breastfeeding. Truthfully, I never expected to make it this far. My initial goal was six months, and then we just kept on going. I have been incredibly lucky in that we’ve had a pretty easy ride. He latched on easily and gained weight in those few days when newborns often loose a little. We’ve had no major issues, a couple of minor bouts of Mastitis, and a day-long feeding strike after he bit me! Other than that, it has been plain sailing. There were a few weeks, from him being around 6/7 weeks old when he had a bottle of expressed milk in the middle of the night. Mainly as it meant his Dad could do it, and I got a little extra sleep. But then he started sleeping longer and we dropped it. Looking back, I wished we’d kept it on, as it meant in that first year I couldn’t leave him for long as he wouldn’t take a bottle. Not that I wanted/needed to leave him, but still.

We’re still feeding all day and all night. He feeds to sleep most nights, and if he stirs in the night he rolls over and latches on again. Co-sleeping means at least I don’t have to leave my bed {and I have someone to cuddle all night long}. Some days if we’re out and busy, he’ll not feed much, others it feels as though he’s a newborn again. He has an uncanny knack of knowing if I sit down to do some work at home – I can guarantee if I do he’ll be straight there demanding boobie! It’s less a food thing and more of a comfort thing these days, if he’s hurt, or upset he’ll find his way into my lap. At those times when it’s all too overwhelming, or he needs five minutes to recenter, then he knows he can seek solace in my arms.

I love that my arms are his safe place, that he knows I’ll always be there, and I love the bond that we share. There are times when I think about weaning… when it’s the fifth time he’s latched on that night, or I just want to sit for five minutes without him clambering into my lap, or he’s shouting BOOBIE at the top of his voice in the middle of the shops. Really, though, I have no plans to wean him until he’s ready. The world average for weaning is three/four years of age, so while here in the UK feeding a two year old may seem a little strange to some {it’s those ‘are you STILL feeding him?!’ comments that suggest that!}, we still have plenty of feeding time left. I’m so grateful that I’ve had the chance to feed for so long, after three not so great journeys with my girls, being able to breastfeed this time around healed that little bit of hurt/guilt in my Mama heart.